attendre
by ailleurs
Summary: He wanted to hurt her with everything that could have been. dmhg.


**title.** attendre

**prompt 25.** _you turned away first_

**dedicated to.** frances. advanced happy birthday! i hope you like my attempt at angst. eep.

**genre.** angst

**summary.** au. he wanted to hurt her with everything that could have been. dmhg.

**music.** _someone like you_ by adele

_one thousand and twenty-four word one-shot._

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**attendre**

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"So this is what a Muggle wedding looks like."

The voice that haunted her for the past four years finally escaped out of her mind and reached her ears. She turned around and her heart seemed to stop as her gaze immediately fell to his lips, who said those words with such anguish that it broke her heart to hear them.

"You look like you haven't slept in weeks," she managed to choke out, drinking in the sight of him. He seemed thinner, his hair matted and a shadow of stubble present on his chin. Still, despite his ragged appearance, he wore the tuxedo with a sort of lazy arrogance that only he could possibly pull off.

"I grabbed the nearest Portkey as soon as I heard the news," he said, watching her intently. She had to turn away, looking at herself in the mirror, smoothing out her dress. Her hands shook.

"Well, I'm glad you made it," she replied, giving him a pained smile. He didn't smile back, his gaze fixed on the ring on her finger. She clasped her hands together in an effort to hide it.

"I wasn't invited, but I figured being your fiancé-"

"Ex-fiancé," she corrected tightly.

"Oh?" he asked, grabbing the train of her dress. She watched his movements warily. "Since when did we stop being engaged?"

"Since you left the day after you proposed," she retorted, grabbing her headdress and placing it on her head.

"Well, in any case, I think you would have looked better wearing my mother's wedding robes," he stated, moving to stand just behind her and dropping the veil over her face, his fingers lingering and burning as it grazed her skin. He looked at both of them in the mirror and she wished she didn't know him well enough, because she could see his pained face and she _knew _he was looking at what could have been. "You look stifled."

"Well, it-" he caught her gaze in the mirror and the rest of her sentence stuck to her throat. She took a deep breath and dragged her eyes away, her heart pounding in her chest. He was too close, she realized belatedly.

"I thought you weren't coming back," she finally whispered raggedly. His arms wrapped themselves around her waist, his face on the crook of her neck. His hands shook and her eyes fluttered shut- the action was so familiar that it made her heart ache painfully in her chest.

"And I thought a Muggle proposal would mean more," he said quietly, accusingly, tightening his hold and pressing a small kiss on her collar bone. "But I guess like all Muggle things, it's useless-"

"I thought you weren't coming back," she repeated desperately, turning around and forcing him to meet her gaze. "You were gone for four years, Draco! Right after you asked me to marry you. Everyone, _everyone_ told me that you changed your mind, that you just-"

"And you _believed_them?" he asked angrily, stepping back. "You're capable of thinking for yourself, Granger, and you decided to _believe_them?"

"You had no idea how hard it was for me!" she cried, reaching out for him. He shook off her hold and her hand lay useless by her side. "I _did_ wait, Draco! I waited but you didn't come back!" He sneered.

"Oh, and how long did you wait, exactly? A week? A month?"

"Three years, Malfoy," she replied coldly, hurt at his accusation. "Three years. Everyone pitied me and I…Ron was the only one-" He shook his head and suddenly she could feel hot tears threatening to run down her cheeks. They burned her eyes. She swallowed thickly. "You've no right! _You turned away first!_"

"Do you even have any idea what I did these past four years?" he asked, almost hysterical. She didn't answer. She couldn't. Her throat burned, and she was scared that if she spoke, she would fall apart. "I've been hunting down Bellatrix. I've been following her trail for the past four years. Did you know that?"

"Why would you-?"

"Because when I asked you to marry me," Her heart constricted. "When I asked you to marry me, Granger, I saw everything. I saw what could have been, and I, I wanted it _so badly_ that it hurt to think about it." His voice cracked. "I wanted you, and I wanted a family and I wanted children- little half-blood children that would kick Potter's kids at Quidditch and beat them at everything else. Kids that wouldn't be anything like me, but everything like _you_- just as smart, just as... I'd even settle for them being in Gryffindor if it meant they were ours. _Ours_."

"Draco-"

"Let me finish," he said cruelly. "I wanted all of that, Granger. I wanted it _so badly_-" He swore loudly and the vase in the corner of the room exploded. "But then I thought, what if aunt finds out because she's, _she's out of her bloody mind_, you know? She'd kill them, and she'd kill you and I-" he swore again and the mirror behind her cracked. "I couldn't have you if someone could take you away. I wanted you for the rest of my life. That's why I thought four years wouldn't matter. I told you to wait for me, Hermione. _Why didn't you wait?_"

"I-" she gasped, tears finally spilling down her cheeks. Her knees gave out just as he closed the distance between them, his arms wrapping themselves securely around her waist. He lifted her veil and brushed his lips on her cheeks.

"I know you well enough to know that you'd go through with the wedding," he whispered raggedly in her ear. "And you know me well enough to know that I wouldn't stop it. So," she felt him place something on her hand. Her eyes flew up to meet his. "Don't cry. It's your wedding. You should be happy." She opened her palm and saw his ring. Her vision blurred.

"You're a horrible person," she gasped, wiping her tears away furiously and laughing bitterly. "How could you do this to me?" He pressed a trembling kiss on the corner of her lips, his shaky smirk burning on her cheeks.

"Because I love you."

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**AN.**Oh gosh, I tried to keep them in character, I really did. I'm sorry if they aren't. Also, please tell me what you think! I'm experimenting with writing styles and feedback would be awesome. Again, advanced happy birthday Frances! I hope you enjoyed this (even if just a little bit!)

**Edited on April 22, 2012.**


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